As the glitterati descended on Hollywood for the last awards bash of the season - the grande finale shall we say - the air was full of apprehension and excitement. How skinny would Guiliana manage to look this time (very - shock horror)? What sort of suit would Ryan wear  (Burberry with a side order of dust)? What shade of black would Angelina Mistress of Misery choose?

I simply couldn't wait to rush home from work last night and get settled in for an evening of Oscar red carpet glory, courtesy of my shiny new TiVo box.

To say I'm disappointed is an understatement. So disappointed in fact, I couldn't even bring myself to blog about it last night.

I was expecting BIG things from the ladies this year. I wanted glitz and glam, diamonds and to-die-for gowns. I wanted them to go one up on last year and show the world how it's done. I guess it's true when they say you can't always get what you want.

Only a few dresses impressed me this year, which is unusual. Usually I'm all over the shop, 'I want that, no wait I want that, no no no I want THAT, oh bugger it I want them all!' - this year? Not so much.

My favourite dress of the night was Natalie Portman's vintage Dior (circa 1950, this girl knows how to work it) - red with black polka dots. Clearly I'm warming to the colour red. Either that or she just makes it look so fabulous I can't help but love it. I don't really believe Natalie Portman can do much wrong in the style stakes to be honest, she's so dainty and pretty that she'd look awesome in a bin liner. Pretty as a picture and isn't she just thinspiration looking this good now when just a year ago she was waddling along the red carpet, heavily pregnant?

I'm also a big fan of Gwyneth Paltrow's Tom Ford white gown. Hell mend you if you go near her with a glass of merlot but here is living proof that you don't need to be Superman or Batman to look pretty awesome in a cape. How she managed to keep her cool all night though I'll never know - if that had been I would have zooming around, pulling it up over my face (Zorro style) and pretending I had the capabilities to fly.

Cameron Diaz in Gucci looks smokin' hot - in fact I think this is the best I've seen her look for a long time. Her hair colour and skin tone really suits the colour of this dress and her body looks amazing in it (bitch) - girlfriend done good.

Emma Stone in Giambattista Valli ROCKS. MY. WORLD. Yes, she's had a bit of a hard time of it for wearing this, and yes it is quite Nicole Kidman circa 2007 but who the hell cares? She looks amazing. It's BETTER than Nicole. And I'm not just saying that because I *heart* Emma Stone. I'm saying it because in my opinion it's true. She looks amazing and the colour is great on her. The only thing that makes me do my scrunched up face just a teeny wee bit is the big bow around the neck - but because she's not a busty girl, she pulls it off like a true fashionista.

I really like Rose Byrne's Vivienne Westwood number - sure it's quite safe and black is always your best bet for a formal event like the Oscars, but she looks so chic and elegant in this dress that it really doesn't matter if she's taken a risk or not. At the end of the day, I'd rather play in safe in something I know suits me, and look good, than take a risk in a dress I'm not 100% sure about and look like a fashion disaster who got dressed in the dark - or by a two year old (Sarah Michelle Gellar). My only problem? She's too thin. Get a cheeseburger down your neck love!

Oh look. She's wearing black. Atelier Versace. Again. And it's not even like I commend her for playing it safe and looking good like Rose Byrne, because, as usual, I think she looks horrific. She is NOT A STYLE ICON. She looks like she's about to suck the living soul out of every single person taking her photograph. And is there really any need to be standing like that? OK Morticia, we can see you've got a thigh-high split up your dress and you're oh-so-slutty (sorry, daring) and no one else has EVER done that before in the history of Versace gowns. You don't need to exaggerate the limb. We all know it's there.

And so, with an almighty sigh, and a wave of disappointment, I kiss goodbye to Awards Season 2012. I guess it's time to go back to my wedding folder and start concentrating on the more important things in life...

Roll on 2013 ;-) xoxo