As the glitterati descended on Hollywood for the last awards bash of the season - the grande finale shall we say - the air was full of apprehension and excitement. How skinny would Guiliana manage to look this time (very - shock horror)? What sort of suit would Ryan wear  (Burberry with a side order of dust)? What shade of black would Angelina Mistress of Misery choose?

I simply couldn't wait to rush home from work last night and get settled in for an evening of Oscar red carpet glory, courtesy of my shiny new TiVo box.

To say I'm disappointed is an understatement. So disappointed in fact, I couldn't even bring myself to blog about it last night.

I was expecting BIG things from the ladies this year. I wanted glitz and glam, diamonds and to-die-for gowns. I wanted them to go one up on last year and show the world how it's done. I guess it's true when they say you can't always get what you want.

Only a few dresses impressed me this year, which is unusual. Usually I'm all over the shop, 'I want that, no wait I want that, no no no I want THAT, oh bugger it I want them all!' - this year? Not so much.

My favourite dress of the night was Natalie Portman's vintage Dior (circa 1950, this girl knows how to work it) - red with black polka dots. Clearly I'm warming to the colour red. Either that or she just makes it look so fabulous I can't help but love it. I don't really believe Natalie Portman can do much wrong in the style stakes to be honest, she's so dainty and pretty that she'd look awesome in a bin liner. Pretty as a picture and isn't she just thinspiration looking this good now when just a year ago she was waddling along the red carpet, heavily pregnant?

I'm also a big fan of Gwyneth Paltrow's Tom Ford white gown. Hell mend you if you go near her with a glass of merlot but here is living proof that you don't need to be Superman or Batman to look pretty awesome in a cape. How she managed to keep her cool all night though I'll never know - if that had been I would have zooming around, pulling it up over my face (Zorro style) and pretending I had the capabilities to fly.

Cameron Diaz in Gucci looks smokin' hot - in fact I think this is the best I've seen her look for a long time. Her hair colour and skin tone really suits the colour of this dress and her body looks amazing in it (bitch) - girlfriend done good.

Emma Stone in Giambattista Valli ROCKS. MY. WORLD. Yes, she's had a bit of a hard time of it for wearing this, and yes it is quite Nicole Kidman circa 2007 but who the hell cares? She looks amazing. It's BETTER than Nicole. And I'm not just saying that because I *heart* Emma Stone. I'm saying it because in my opinion it's true. She looks amazing and the colour is great on her. The only thing that makes me do my scrunched up face just a teeny wee bit is the big bow around the neck - but because she's not a busty girl, she pulls it off like a true fashionista.

I really like Rose Byrne's Vivienne Westwood number - sure it's quite safe and black is always your best bet for a formal event like the Oscars, but she looks so chic and elegant in this dress that it really doesn't matter if she's taken a risk or not. At the end of the day, I'd rather play in safe in something I know suits me, and look good, than take a risk in a dress I'm not 100% sure about and look like a fashion disaster who got dressed in the dark - or by a two year old (Sarah Michelle Gellar). My only problem? She's too thin. Get a cheeseburger down your neck love!

Oh look. She's wearing black. Atelier Versace. Again. And it's not even like I commend her for playing it safe and looking good like Rose Byrne, because, as usual, I think she looks horrific. She is NOT A STYLE ICON. She looks like she's about to suck the living soul out of every single person taking her photograph. And is there really any need to be standing like that? OK Morticia, we can see you've got a thigh-high split up your dress and you're oh-so-slutty (sorry, daring) and no one else has EVER done that before in the history of Versace gowns. You don't need to exaggerate the limb. We all know it's there.

And so, with an almighty sigh, and a wave of disappointment, I kiss goodbye to Awards Season 2012. I guess it's time to go back to my wedding folder and start concentrating on the more important things in life...

Roll on 2013 ;-) xoxo

Ladies annnnd Gentlemen....

IT'S OSCARS NIGHT!!!!!

I'll tell you one thing about the Oscars... they're real. 

William H Macy.

Top of the Frocks

So the final, and most exciting, awards night of the red carpet season is almost upon us: The Oscars. The big one. The one that makes every other award on the shelf seem dull, pointless and, quite frankly, about as prestigious as a pork scratching.

This is the night to really shine.

Over the years we've witnessed some howlers - major fashion faux pas - as the stars take to the red carpet, hoping their names will be the names on everyone's lips the next morning. And very often they are, for all the wrong reasons.

But then along come the real class acts, the fashionistas, the women who leave Joan Rivers speechless, unable to crack jokes at their expense, and watch on doe-eyed as Ryan Seacrest drowns in his own saliva. To these women I raise my glass - the reason I stay up way past my bed-time on a school night - you make it all worthwhile.

In no particular order...

Anne Hathaway looks stunning in her pillarbox red, one-shouldered Marchesa gown, putting her Devil Wears Prada alter ego Andi to shame. I'm not usually a fan of red but this I would wear. If I could afford it. Which I can't.

If you're looking for true old fashioned Hollywood glamour and style this is it: Audrey Hepburn in Givenchy. It literally gives me shivers. This is the perfect example of what elegance and sheer class is all about. I love it and it's a style that so many young actresses try to recreate nowadays but so many fail to capture that certain je ne sais quoi that Hepburn had.

Hilary Swank in Guy Laroche was simply head-turning. From the front this dress was minimalistic, yet still stylish if a little understated. She turned around however and showed that it's not always about the tulle and the frou-frou - the back detailing on this gorgeous dress gave it the oomph and wow factor to make it perfect for the Oscars.

Julia Roberts stole the show in vintage Valentino before 'vintage' was even a thing. She made vintage desirable among the Hollywood elite after becoming the first actress to pick up an Oscar dressed in a vintage gown. It's a far cry from her street walking days in Pretty Woman. I'm guessing she doesn't need a safety pin to pull up the zips of her hooker boots anymore.

I think this was probably when I sat up and started to take real notice of Keira Knightley - it's also probably around the same time I started to hate her with a passion that could only be stemmed from sheer unadulterated jealously. This burgundy Vera Wang gown is, without a shadow of a doubt, my all time favourite Oscars gown. This dress makes me want to drop to my knees and kiss the ground Vera walks on. It makes me want to cry. It makes me want to throw every item of clothing I own into the fire and just pray that Vera will materialise on my doorstep offering to design me an entire new wardrobe. For this particular reason, I try not to look at this dress too much.

Marion Cotillard looks like the most glamorous mermaid in the ocean in this stunning Jean Paul Gaultier creation. Not many people knew who the gorgeous French actress was when she picked up her award in 2008, but whether she had won that night or not, this dress guaranteed people would be talking about her the following day.

Michelle Williams finally broke out of her Jen Lindley mould when she rocked up to the Oscars with her beau, the late, great, Heath Ledger on her arm and Vera Wang (there she goes again) draped over her body. Yellow isn't exactly my thing but this mustard-esque tone on her pale skin, with those bright red lips is to die for.

Natalie Portman, the perfect little pint-sized princess in Lanvin. This Grecian goddess trend keeps coming back, season after season - looking at this dress it's not hard to see why. This is sort of dress that makes your eyes pop out of your head for all the right reasons.

Now let it be said that I don't like Penelope Cruise. I don't like her as an actress, I don't like her a spokesperson and I certainly don't like her as a forward thinker in the style stakes. BUT I do like this. Versace, blush pink, strapless, ruffles - tick tick tick tick - what's not to love? It would look horrendous on me with my whiter than white skin but put it on Penelope and badabing badaboom - you got yourself a LOOK.

Yes, Reese is getting not one but two notable mentions - I just couldn't decide between her vintage Christian Dior dress or her Nina Ricci gown. So different, yet both equally breath-taking. Reese in Dior is still quite young, fresh faced and innocent looking. Reese in Ricci is a whole different ballgame altogether - she's sophisticated, a worthy Oscar winner, independent and taking the fashion stakes to a whole new level.

Scarlett Johansson in Dolce & Gabbana makes me salivate. This dress literally ticks every box for me - lace, plum, slinky without showing cleavage, fishtail - I LOVE it. 

Remember when Sienna Miller burst on to the scene and she was all about boho chic and hippy goddess style? This is what I loved most about her. She brought her own signature brand of boho to Hollywood and stood out from a sea of formal frocks in this eye-catching Matthew Williamson (natch) dress. The chunky gold cuff on her arm couldn't have been more perfect for the dress if she had tried. SEN-SA-TION-AL.

And that about sums it up for me - what's been your favourite Oscar dress over the years? xox

And The Oscar Goes To...

As every red carpet darling knows, the culmination of a successful awards season is the Academy Awards - more commonly known as the Oscars - and every style savvy starlet is desperate to turn heads with her choice of gown for the evening.

While the hues of choice at the Golden Globes were nude and emerald, the favourable colours at the Oscars seemed to be red and plum. I actually lost count of the number of red gowns I saw but for me the most memorable - and ironically the simplest dress of the bunch - was worn by Oscar newcomer, and best actress nominee, Jennifer Lawrence. She went for old school, minimalist Calvin Klein and looked incredible. Normally I'm not a great fan of red - particularly when it looks like the wearer is channelling Pamela Anderson's Baywatch years circa 1993 - but Jennifer Lawrence is just so fresh-faced and beautiful that she pulled it off with gusto. Had that been Pammy herself she would have looked cheap and tarty, but J Lawrence was a picture of sexy elegance.

Another winner for me was Hailee Steinfeld. She disappointed me at the Baftas after a spectacular debut at the Golden Globes so I was interested to see what she would rock the red carpet in at the Oscars. And she definitely came up trumps. Her princess-goes-to-prom Marchesa gown was absolutely beautiful on her. She went for a simplistic pale pink hue which suited her skin tone and dark hair perfectly. She was definitely the belle of the ball.

Natalie Portman has upped her game after, what I viewed to be, a disappointing frock at the Globes. Every gown has gotten better and better as the awards season has progressed and on Sunday night the Swan Queen took to the stage to collect her much deserved statuette looking every inch the Hollywood megastar. I found it quite fitting that her plum off-shoulder gown was designed by Rodarte who had a hand in the costume design for Black Swan. In my opinion it showed that Portman was there to celebrate the movie - and film itself in general - and not just fashion. She looked beautiful and has that lovely pregnant glow about her now. Her hair was fabulous and I am in love with those earrings.

I'm a big fan of Michelle Williams' look so I was pleased to see that she had gone for a more red-carpet appropriate dress on Sunday night - and one that was 100 times more flattering on her than her previous effort at the Golden Globes. As much as I liked her Valentino gown (and was probably one of the few who did like it) it wasn't the most flattering garmet the Dawson's Creek survivor has ever donned. She rocked the red carpet in Chanel Haute Couture and Harry Winston jewels. Her make-up was impeccable and she is stunning with that perfect pixie-cut blonde hair.

One star who has done well this awards season is Mila Kunis. But I have to say I'm unsure of her lilac Elie Saab gown. The colour itself looked wonderful on her because of her dark skin tone but the overall style of the dress isn't really pulling me in. The more I look at it, the more I think the skirt looks like ripped lace curtains and she's only pulling off that very low-cut round neckline because she has such a small bust. I do love the nipped in waist though which creates a lovely hourglass shape for the slender starlet.

Jennifer Lawrence

Hailee Steinfeld

Yummy Mummy Natalie Portman

Michelle Williams

Mila Kunis

Host for the evening Anne Hathaway - who apparently paid stylist Rachel Zoe a six-figure sum to dress her for the night. I think she ended up looking like...Anne Hathaway at every other award show. But skinnier. Somebody get this girl a cheeseburger.

I've heard a lot of people say they don't like Florence Welch's choice of frock for the evening but I love it. I think she rocks it and it's her style. She looked odd at last year's Brit awards in that fancy gown she wore - this is much more her and I think she got it spot on.

Gwyneth Paltrow actually looks amazing. I never thought I'd see the day I liked a metallic silver dress that actually has the ability to double up as a jumpsuit but she pulls this off magnificently.

This is how older women should do understated sexy elegance. Every woman over the age of 50 should take notes from Dame Helen Mirren.

There's been a bit of debate over Marisa Tomei's 1950 Charles James gown - she's been included in both the best dressed and worst dressed lists. Personally I think it's fabulous. Very goth chic, very stand-out. I think she made a statement with this gown and she looks gorgeous.

This on the other hand made a statement for all the wrong reasons. I did wonder where my granny's old Christmas tablecloth from 1990 had disappeared to and now the mystery is solved. Shame on you Melissa Leo - good job it wasn't raining or your doily might have melted.

Doesn't Reese Witherspoon make a lovely looking pint of Guiness? Just look at the head on that... Also - big shout out to her Legally Blonde days - that's what that ponytail is for right? Erin Brockovich springs to mind here as well...

Last but not least, Scarlett Johansson, looking hot-to-trott in Dolce & Gabbana. Sexy, simple, tousled dirty blonde bob, great make-up - wowsers. Ryan Reynolds is missing out.



-PS - I also have to pass a quick comment on how amazing the men looked at Sunday's ceremony. It's a lot harder for them than the women to 'stand-out' with their suits but kudos go to Iron Man Robert Downey Jnr, Russell Brand and Mark Wahlberg who looked effortless, cool and hot. Sizzling.

-PPS - Mark Ruffalo's wife is called Sunrise. That is all.